Brainy's Call Of Nature
by Nigel Yearning
Summary: In this not so good learning story: No one listens to Brainy Smurf so he has to change his behavior and diet in order to get some attention, with the help of a fellow OC he could only go so far before he gotten more than he bargained for.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters**

**Claimer: I only own characters that are "NOT" in the Smurfs comic, tv series, and movie.**

Brainy Smurf has a problem, and it's a usual problem. No one listens to him, and now needs advice. So he goes to the only person who listens to him and likes him as a Best Friend, Chernov.

Chernov is a green human smurf hybrid who is 4 apples tall, wears a camouflaged jacket, pants, and smurf at. His legs were straight and is far more skinnier than the average smurf, he's often praised for his intelligence and strength. But most importantly, he is also praised and feared for his authoritarianism.

He knocked on his door and Chernov opens the door, not to surprised to see him. "What is it Brainy?" asked Chernov, "You look like no one's listening to you and you need help, is that correct?"

Chernov is really that smart, "Yes Chernov," he said.

"Come inside, and then we'll talk." ordered Chernov.

Brainy stepped inside and sat down on the couch as Chernov shuts the door and locks it, he sat down beside Brainy and faced him. "How do you get people to listen to you?" asked Brainy.

"It's really a number of factors," said Chernov, "Height is one of them, but I'm also educated. More educated than you in fact, but the most obvious factor is that I often enforce Papa Smurf's authority with a gun."

"A gun?" asked Briany.

"A gun," said Chernov, "You saw me shot down that duck that flew over the village last week, no one said anything because they feared that they would be next. Of course, that's not the case as I'm in no mood to kill smurfs and eat them as dinner. They're better alive than dead. In fact I am so authoritative that when I get involved with a problem Papa Smurf does almost nothing, you could see him shiver in fear."

"Is a smurf factor necessary?" asked Brainy.

"No, it's how you treat the smurfs that matters." said Chernov, "You yapping a lot is what's killing you, so only talk when it's necessary. Stop giving advice and lessons and just get the job done, helping out with the community might do a bit of work but I'm sure that you might need to have a gun in your possession. However, I'm not giving one to you if that's what your thinking."

"Why not?" asked Brainy.

"You'll never use it, not on another smurf or not on another living creature like squirrels." said Chernov, "You don't have the heart or the nerve to take another life, besides that would be considered human behavior which will get you kicked out of the village and they won't let you back in for. Or worse..."

"So what should I smurf?" asked Brainy.

"Simple, kill a squirrel, raccoon, duck, frog, or a rabbit. Then butcher the meat, cook it, and eat it." said Chernov, "You don't have to do it in front of everyone, everyone watching you dragging in a corpse of such an animal and buturing it will put them on edge. They would respect you more, but I honestly am not sure if it might work. Since you'll be acting quite human, which is against Papa Smurf's word on not to act like them."

"But you get to act human," said Brainy.

"That's because I'm half human, but it isn't about humans anymore," said Chernov, "Anyone or anything that's alive who can talk and bears the human form of any kind, will act very human even though their not human directly. Papa Smurf does not no that, but it can happened. Now, back on the hunting, I'll keep an eye out once you are butchering your kill. Just as things get heated up, I'll be there with a shotgun. No smurf, not even Papa Smurf would get within 20 apples from be with a gun unless I cornered them."

"Thanks for the advice," said Brainy, "But where am I going to find this so-called prey?"

"You can trap them, hunt them down and shoot them, or get up close and personal." said Chernov, "You won't have any gun to help you or that would tell people that I gave you the idea, you would have to do it with primitive technology. You have a brain Brainy, so think outside the box when getting your kill."

Brainy shook Chernov's hand and the Hybrid gives Brainy a Bowie knife to help him in his quest before he heads back home, he goes over through several books for a couple days about hunting and such. After learning how to butcher and kill a creature, he seemed to have gotten a clue about where to look. The nearby lake may be a good start, so he'll go there. Brainy goes to a spot where he's out of sight of the village and makes a fishing spear, he hopped onto the rocks and wait for a fish to come by.

When one happened to swim by, he tried to stab the fish with the spear but misses. As it quickly swam away, he wondered what he's doing wrong. "I swear, I hit it on top of the fish." said Brainy, then he looked at the water for a clue. He stuck his hand into it and noticed that the water bends the light, he finally realized that if he's going to score a kill, he would need to aim below the fish in order to hit it.

He saw another fish swam by, just before he would stab it a even larger fish jumped out of the water and hits Brainy with it's nose. He was knocked into the water and he quickly crawls back to shore, all soaking wet. "Fishing may not be a good idea," he muttered as he spewed out water, "There must be another way."

After drying off, he heads to the woods and makes a noose, a simple loop folded into itself. With it, any creature that comes by will fling into the air and will be hanging there until he comes back to go get it. He got the idea after Chernov's father captured him twice using the same method, both in which he gets knocked out after being slammed into a nearby tree and gets hit in the head.

Brainy quickly gets out of the area and prepares to work on another trap nearby, however a feral cat appeared out of nowhere and began to chase Brainy. He went the other direction and the smurf ends up stumbling into his own trap, Brainy was flung into the air with the noose tight around his foot. Luckily he wasn't knocked out this time and the cat looses interest and moves on, traps is not going to work for him this time.

After waiting for a while, Brainy cuts himself loose using his teeth and fell back to earth hard on his back. As he groaned in pain, he then stumbles to a tree at random and climbs up on it. He sat down on a branch and begins to think of a strategy, suddenly the branch he's sitting on gives way and Brainy hangs onto it as he and the branch falls to the ground.

The branch was quite thick as he crashed onto the ground in a loud thud, almost like thunder. When the dust cleared he got up and stepped down, then heard crying noises. "I wonder what's smurfing," muttered Brainy. It was coming from the other side of the fallen branch, so Brainy walked around and then saw it. It was a squirrel, the creature was crushed underneath the branch. There's no way that the squirrel would survive after being rescued, his back is broken his legs were smash to pieces.

Brainy now know what he must to, he would have to put it out of it's misery. He got behind the branch again and found a large rock he could lift, it was heavy but at least it would do. Brainy got on top of the log and held the rock over his head above the injured squirrel and said a few kind words. "Rest in Peace my friend." He dropped the rock on the squirrel's head, it crushed him like a pancake and blood splattered everywhere.

The smurf suddenly began to cry, the feeling of "accidentally" of ending another life wasn't good. Chernov was right, he did not have the heart to do so. But at least he has the nerve, and due to the Nature System the smurfs have he would have to use almost every part of the squirrel for other purposes.

Brainy got down off the tree and removes the rock with all of his smurf might, the sight of the animal's brains was splattered everywhere. It was horrifying for him to look, but he kept his cool. He then tried to push the branch out of the way, after working on it for half an hour he managed to remove it off the carcass. He then grabs the squirrel's feet, they feel like small bags full of rocks making Brainy's heart sank more.

What's done is done, he proceeds to position the squirrel on it's back and cut it open. The hide was quite thick, when he opened up the squirrel's torso he was amazed on how organized his inside were. There was a lot of blood though, so he dumps out the digestive track of the squirrel and buried the organs to prevent contamination. Then he grabbed the animal leg's once more and proceeds to drag him back to the Smurf Village, he can't wait to show Chernov his kill.

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters**

**Claimer: I only own characters that are "NOT" in the Smurfs comic, tv series, and movie.**

When Brainy came dragging in the dead squirrel into the Smurf Village, it immediately got everyone's attention. Their jaws dropped at the sight of it but Chernov stepped outside and was smiling, he only smiles on rare occasions and this is definitely one of of them. "To the looks of that kill, it's seems that you got lucky." said Chernov, "But it's close enough, take it near here and start peeling the hide off of it. Like I said before, I will keep an eye out."

As Chernov sits by, Brainy used all his might and peels the hide off of the squirrel. The hide is big enough for him to use as a rug or something, with the squirrel bare he makes certain cuts and within an hour or two he made enough cuts out of the squirrel. Chernov then reached inside the squirrel and pulls out the heart and sat it on the middle of the pile, "To respect the kill, you gotta eat the heart first." he said.

Brainy gulped at the thought, he's getting more than he bargained for.

Fellow smurfs watched as Brainy takes the meat inside Chernov's house as he shuts the door behind him, leaving the squirrel's skeleton outside for Sloppy's pet fly to feast off of.

Later that night, Chernov had the meat cooked and had Brainy eat some of it. "I'm not sure I'm going to keep it down," he said, "Since all smurfs are vegetarians in all."

"You probably won't but I'll make sure it stays down," said Chernov, "It doesn't kill you or anything, it's well cooked and it should be easy to digest."

Brainy sliced off a piece of the heart and took a bite, it tasted juicy and sweet. "Wow, this is good," said Brainy as he takes another bite out of the cooked heart.

Nosy and Clumsy Smurfs peeped through the window and watched Brainy eat meat, this has also gotten the attention of Greedy and Papa Smurf in the process as they peeped through the window. "What is Brainy smurfing?" asked Greedy.

"I don't know, but it looks like Chernov is involved." said Papa Smurf.

When Brainy is done with dinner, he was just about leave when Chernov stopped him. "Stay here for the night, go home at morning," said Chernov, "There's a reason why I left the window's blinds wide open, the smurfs are watching us. Just as you wanted them to do."

"So why do I have to smurf here tonight?' asked Brainy.

"There's no telling what those smurfs will act, stay here for now and keep the knife in handy." said Chernov, "Oh and Brainy, drink this so you won't puke and damage your esophagus."

Chernov placed a carbonating tablet in a glass of water and have Brainy drank it, he then sat the glass back down on the table and simply sat there on the couch and falls asleep. Chernov then shuts the window blinds, preventing the smurfs outside from seeing anymore and the lights were turned off. "He knows we're here," whispered Papa Smurf.

Then the blinds flew opened and so does the window, with Chernov sticking his head out. "And I could hear you as well old timer," he said. He pulls his head out of the window and shuts the window then the blinds, Papa Smurf then has everyone head back to their houses for the night. They'll investigate more in the morning.

When the sun finally rose above the horizon, Brainy stepped out of Chernov's house as he watched him head back home. The smurfs were just getting up and some stared at Brainy as he walks by, Scaredy Smurf simply ran inside his house and locks his door then watched Brainy as he passes by.

Brainy opened the door to his house and walks inside, everyone then heads off to work as usual and haven't seen Brainy throughout the day. Nosy Smurf looked through his window and saw Brainy Smurf reading a book, he read the cover and it said: How To Be Respected By Nature And Fellow Smurfs by Chernov Reznov. The book looks pretty thick, and Nosy rushed over to Papa Smurf to report his findings.

"Well, I think the smurfs were the cause," said Papa Smurf, "I never knew any smurf would go this far in order to get them to listen to him, maybe even pay attention to him."

Whatever Chernov did, it worked. Brainy was now respected more, again. With the increase of Brainy's fear factor, the scale on how much one is being feared, some smurfs would think twice before kicking him out of the village. In return, Brainy stops yapping and is now quiet. Only speaking when necessary, within the following weeks Brainy did his part in the village more often by educating the Smurflings which pays off.

Eventually, the self proclaimed successor to Papa Smurf gave in and kicked "himself" out of the village by launching himself on a Smurf Slingshot, a giant slingshot design to launch smurfs out of the village. Everyone couldn't bear to laugh, and Jokey haven't pranked anyone for months after that.

**THE END**


End file.
